Just a sliver of light in the sky tonight when I walk the dog. More than usual
he sniffs everything, soaking up the news of the day
without passing judgment, taking it in like he’s never smelled anything
quite like it.
I hum an incantation—
wherever you go, there you are
as my feet nestle into the earth’s scalp
trying to feel how deep the roots go.
He continues to sniff the pinecones and needles scattered around us,
nose dripping with wonder and the feeling of being on the inside of a secret
only the earth can tell.
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When you read that line from Ada Limón’s “What I didn’t know before,”
the hair on my arms stands straight up. I’m not talking peach fuzz and ant hills,
I mean long, dark bristles stretching toward the sky making moguls
even Mikaël Kingsbury would second guess. Skin up the mountain,
I’ll meet you at the top. Let’s see how fast we fall. -
I can’t remember what you were wearing in that tired inn,
what you smelled like, if either of us were sober enough to lock the door.
But the pain I felt in my abdomen when we were splayed out laughing
stabs me sometimes still.I read once that a mother skink will fight off predators until eventually,
if the attacks are relentless,
she’ll eat her own eggs.What if every other moment between us has been like that tired skink—
realizing she has no other choice than to eat her own happiness,
to destroy her love so that she might keep going alone? -
Today I think I could reach out and touch that piece of hair falling over your eyes,
twist it into place behind your temple and hold it back with a bobby pin.
Today your voice is a temple.
Today I hear vibrations in your larynx before you even have a chance to speak.
Today I think I could reach out and grab your words, twist them into carbon fiber
and build a concrete monastery out of everything you say.
Today I could lock us both inside.
Today I could reach out and touch that tinge of loneliness falling over your eyes,
twist it together with mine and hold it back with a bobby pin.
Today I could reach out and touch you.